Madras

Hero: Wall

Villain: Painting on the wall

Heroines: Kaarthi’s Paati and area aayah

Comedian: Jahny na

Plot: Once upon a time, there was a wall. This wall was wanted by two politicians for advertising their faces on it. One killed the other and got his ugly face painted on it. Maybe its the sight of seeing his blown up face or something but people randomly die in front of the wall and it is now considered a taboo.

Anbu (Kalaiarasan. This guy is cute!) is the local slum leader and works for Maari (short for maariyatha, I guess! He has long hair too!) Kali (Karthi) is his best friend who tries helping him but ends up ruining things for him. They have fun doing nothing and playing football. Kali works for some software firm but is somehow always at home (I wanna join this company too!)  These two and Maari hate the opposition party members. The old man(let us call him x. He doesn’t have a name in this movie) is the son of the dhrushti padam (the scary wall painting) and his son (xy – haha good one I know!) are the leaders of the opposition. Petty fights happen between both sides. All this is explained amidst the title song Madras (Which sounds miles better than Anirudh’s fiasco- Chancey illai!)

Now Kali (I don’t know why all male characters in this movie have androgynous names!) falls for this area figure Kalaiarasi (Catherene Teresa). She is pretty but looks a little unbelievable as a slum bred girl in her sexy kurtas and bad tamil. (When she says adchuduven, it sounds more like ashadu-ven!). Some hilarious scenes follow. Jahny(Hari) provides good comic relief.

Anbu gets all restless one day, decides to repaint the wall and angers x and xy. They prepare to off him. Kali and Anbu run for their lives. (I dont understand why they kept running on the streets? They could have simply gotten into a friend’s house!) Kali being a stupid pain in the ass spots xy and kills him. X enraged by this puts a man-hunt on Anbu and plots ways to ambush him before he reaches the court. These two escape with Maari’s help and surrender in the court. (Kali’s name is not even on the list of suspects.) These two are happily drinking tea outside the court house when Anbu gets brutally murdered. His funeral scene follows and the BGM made my ears bleed! (Here, the most scandalous kissing scene dint escape my sight, Anbu’s wife gives poetic monologues about how he loves biting her lips and tries to bite the dead man’s mouth off!)

Kali seeks revenge and goes to Maari to help him do away with X. Maari pacifies him and asks him to go home and make babies with Kalai (Let daddy deal with all this!)

Kalai entices him into lover boy mode and soon things fall back into place. (Naan nee naam song plays during this smooth seduction! Sounded as mellifluous as ever!) Everyone forgets Anbu. X and Maari even sign a peace treaty! Kali and Kalai (Their names are so similar, they sound like siblings not lovers!) get engaged. They go on a date and here Kali spots Anil (a gunda who works for Maari) and goes to greet him. The man runs at his very sight.

Now Kali gets all suspicious corners him only to find that Maari ordered the hit on Anbu for money! Yeah! instead of killing him on the streets or in the car, Maari wanted all the attention on himself( that little wannabe!) and offed him in broad daylight outside a courtroom. Very efficient indeed!

Maari comes to the slum to get votes and Kali exposes him. He further enrages him by pouring paint on the wall. Anbu’s widow gets her revenge (you would think by biting his lips off, but no!) by pouring black paint on him.

Maari sends out a few billion men to kill Kali.

Kali kills them all by pretending he is playing football. Real mature!

Maari dies. The slum leader now is some assistant gunda who does no harm. The wall has anemic children with books  painted on it to encourage education. Kali and Kalai start making children and teaching children too!

It started off so well.. was going well.. was still going well ..was almost over and was doing extremely well..

If only Kali dint watch Anjaan and copy its ending!